Goodbyes

i don't understand goodbyes. they break my heart. i think that i've had to say more goodbyes in the past 5 years than i ever said hellos. i think that's why they hurt so bad now. my friend is going home to tell her grandmother bye. i don't understand. life seems so obvious to me these days. so obvious that we are born, have a certain amount of years to live it out, and then we go. sometimes it doesn't last as long as we expect it to. you grow up learning how this world works, you do it the best you can, and then you start to lose those abilities over time as you get old. life is precious and it becomes more and more apparent to me daily.

i sat with my neighbor last night and talked and laughed. all the while at the back of my mind was the thought that this woman is staring the end of her life in the face; she has terminal cancer. i felt like i couldn't breathe the whole night.

my friend is going home to say bye. i went home and told my grandmother goodbye 2 months ago. as i think of her doing the same my eyes fill with tears. the immediacy of life and what we do with it seems so obvious. the rest is so out of our control.

the thought that someone is there and then they are gone is so absolute. so final. so hard. so heartbreaking. so lonely. so silent. so loud. so painful. so real.

i hate goodbyes.

Burdened

My heart is heavy tonight. My heart is heavy because today my coworker Janette came back from giving bags of food to families in Mexico and told me the story of the worst house she said she's ever seen. Francisca and Jose live there. She is 64 and he's 69. There are so many holes in the house it really wouldn't constitute as much more than a covering. The gaps at the top of the "walls" and everywhere else send the winds straight through. Janette said she doesn't think they'll make it through the winter if we don't build them a home. I doubt they can do much more in the winter desert nights than huddle together and try to stay warm.

I'm overwhelmed tonight because I can't get them off my mind. I've been doing this for 5 years and I don't get it. I don't realize that this isn't just a good idea or a kind deed, but these families are asking us to save their lives. When we go across the border and build it might be a great and eyeopening experience that we carry with us the rest of our lives, but for these families, i hope it is the moment that their life changes forever. I hope that for the kids that we build for it's when they get the opportunity at a future because their parents can pay for them to go to school instead of spending it all on materials for their home. Maybe it's more than that. Maybe like this case, it's actually the thing that saves the family's life. It's overwhelming and today I was shown, maybe clearer than ever before, the extent of what we do, what we are giving our lives for; hopefully to save someone elses.

Hopefully this understanding isn't just for me, hopefully it's for everyone that sees what we are doing here.

Maybe this will help the guy at the store understand; the one that argues with us because we are helping people in Mexico and not El Paso.

Maybe this will help everyone understand that asks when I'm going to leave this behind and come home and start my real job, my real life. I have a feeling this is the realest life I'll ever live.

And maybe this will help me understand, when I can't remember why I'm still here.

If you want to help this family you can. We either need a team to volunteer to come down and pay to build them a home or we need to raise the money for the house and we'll get it built.

You have the opportunity to save someones life.
It's sounds dramatic I know. I doubt they would say the same.

If you would like to donate please follow the link below:
www.casasporcristo.org (click on donate today)
Please put Francisca and Jose in the comments section.

one action changes everything

i'm overwhelmed lately at how one person with a belief, with a dream, can change the world and countless lives forever. catchy quotes become reality as a child's life is saved and futures changed for generations to come....


I can’t believe that a few college guys that cared are now on the verge of changing the govt. in a country in Africa. Unbelievably amazing.
http://www.conversantlife.com/politics/im-just-a-bill-im-only-a-bill

I'm blown away at the impact this organization is having on the lives of children and Americans as it sweeps the globe.
TOMS Shoes: Saving Lives, One Sole at a Time - ABC News


i'm in awe of stories that have become movements; events that have been used to change the world; heartache and tragedy that have become powerless by being turned into salvation for so many. there's a million stories out there. these two have been on my heart.

get involved. tell your own story. change your own world and be amazed at what you see is transformed around you. below are some organizations that are doing just that. i'm honored to call many of those making a difference, my friends.


Nuru International - fighting exteme poverty in Africa
http://www.nuruinternational.org/


Blood Water Mission - fighting HIV & the water crisis in Africa http://www.bloodwatermission.com/


Samaritan's Purse - going to the aid of the world's poor, sick and suffering
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/


Give Clean Water - providing and installing water filters in homes in Fiji
http://www.givecleanwater.org/


To Write Love on Her Arms - presenting hope & finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide
http://www.twloha.com/


Amor Ministries - providing homes for poverty stricken families in Mexico
http://www.amor.org/Page.aspx?pid=304


Invisible Children - fighting to end the war in Africa and better the lives of those living there
http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php


Tom's Shoes - giving one pair of shoes to a child in need for every shoe that is purchased
http://cdn2.tomsshoes.com/default29.htm


International Justice Mission - a human rights agency that secures justice for victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression
http://www.ijm.org/


Not For Sale - equipping and mobilizing Smart Activists to re-abolish slavery in their own backyards and across the globe
http://www.notforsalecampaign.org/


Call and Response - using music and media to fight against human slavery
http://www.callandresponse.com/


Casas por Cristo - working with the Mexican and the American church to build homes for families in poverty
http://www.casasporcristo.org/



be your own movement.

everyone has a story to tell.

who knows, you might just change the world, or at least one person's world.

it's worth it.


Write Your Own Story.

why i respect atheists

thought this article was worth sharing. i dig it.

http://www.conversantlife.com/other-faiths/why-i-respect-atheists#continue

Birds on the Wires

From: http://vimeo.com/6428069

Reading a newspaper, I saw a picture of birds on the electric wires. I cut out the photo and decided to make a song, using the exact location of the birds as notes (no Photoshop edit). I knew it wasn't the most original idea in the universe. I was just curious to hear what melody the birds were creating.

I sent the music to the photographer, Paulo Pinto, who I Googled on the internet. He told his editor, who told a reporter and the story ended up as an interview in the very same newspaper.

Here I've posted a short video made with the photo, the music and the score (composed by the birds).

Music made with Logic.
Video made with After Effects.

An interview about this and other works: biginterview.org/

Birds on the Wires from Jarbas Agnelli on Vimeo.

nothing more

"often, i write all day long with white ink on white paper, late into the night, until it is all i can do to feel the letters curving to earth from the tip of the pen and then, i fall asleep. dreaming of running, or maybe driving in a car the color of water and i wake the next day remembering nothing and i gather the stack of paper and a pen of black on the desk in front of me and the words begin to dance over the page like long legged insects across a still lake and the words in white whisper behind and underneath the new day. if there is any secret to this life i live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. and there is nothing more to it than that."
- story people

my story people

i have these friends in my life that challenge me; that won't let me settle for the status quo or allow complacency in my life. i think that i take this community for granted. i think that i completely forget that it's not normal to have people in your life that will not let you think that a nice house, a good paycheck, and no debt is all there is to life; that won't let me settle for comfortableness if it is at the sacrifice of improving another's well being. they don't ask me if i accomplished all of my goals for the day, but rather if someone else's life is better today because i was a part of it.

we are dreamers and i pray that we never stop dreaming. i pray that we remind each other 20 years from now if our head isn't in the clouds rather than if it is. i hope that they catch me on my way down when i get out of my 20's and begin to feel the need for security, when i begin to fear the fall, when i begin to doubt the strength of the clouds on which i'm standing. we sit around and read lofty quotes and dream big ideas and i think that's exactly what we're supposed to do. i don't think there's ever supposed to be a time when you quit asking what you want to do instead of what you have to do, and i think when you hit the walls you have to question if those walls are as important as you thought they were in the first place.

i don't know where life will be in 5, 10, or 30 years from now. i don't know where it will be tomorrow. i know our worlds won't always revolve around El Paso, or MX or even building homes for families with Casas por Cristo. but i hope that who we are and what we've learned and the lives we are living follow us not because of where we worked or lived but because of who we are. i hope that over the years the realities of life and downfalls of the world don't jade us but that we still look past them into some kind of hope and dare to write our dreams all over the walls and not shy from the possibilities or the lack there of. and if we ever stop dreaming i pray we have the strength to ask each other why, and then sit in the silence and stare together as we fight again to find our way.

"I still fly a lot in my dreams, she told us, but i try to stay close to the ground. at my age a fall can be pretty serious."

may this never be us. may we never fear falling; but rather that we'll never fly.