wrestling with God
i always viewed wrestling with God as a bad thing; questions as doubt and unbelief as faithlessness. however, the more i seek out to understand Christ, the more i've begun to believe just the opposite. questions mean you are seeking, and doubts are where you find faith. how can you know if you don't ask? how can you believe if God doesn't have the opportunity to prove Himself when you doubt?
i was reading Genesis and came to a part in the story of Jacob that i didn't understand. Jacob was going to meet his brother Essau who he had lied to and deceived and hadn't seen in 20 years. he's planning out how to meet his brother that he is afraid will kill him, then all of a sudden the story seems to detour. it says that night, Jacob is all alone and a man comes and wrestles with him all night until the morning dawn breaks. the man realizes he won't win so he wrenches Jacob's hip out of socket. then the man begs Jacob to let him go because the dawn is breaking. Jacob says no and holds onto the man. he says, "i will not let you go unless you bless me." the man says, "your name will no longer be Jacob, from now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won." then the man blesses Jacob. so Jacob names this place Peniel (which means 'face of God') because he says, "i have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared. the sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip."
WHAT??
now i know i just broke off a section of the story and it may not make complete sense without the before and after, but even after reading the story's entirety, this part seems to come from no where. so i'm sitting here reading and trying to understand who this "guy" is, where he comes from, what the deal is, why he showed up, they wrestled, then morning comes, the guy blesses Jacob, leaves, and Jacob goes on about his plans, just limping now from the wrestling match during the night. i'm confused. what am i not understanding about this culture, about blessings, about this story that it makes no sense to me? so i start trying to figure it out. i start reading explanations of the scripture to get some background and hopefully gain understanding. but rather than gaining some great insight into this part of scripture, i start thinking about what actually happened here. the fact that i didn't understand the story's placement has nothing to do with it. it's just an account of what happened. how often does my life seem to take detours i don't understand right in the middle of what i'm doing? the point is the story itself.
Genesis 32:24-31
the man Jacob wrestled with was God. so he wrestled with God, won, and then God blessed him. what?! don't we usually view wrestling with God as a negative thing? and even though i don't entirely view it like that anymore, i still don't view it as a positive thing that God will bless me for. but it says that Jacob wrestled with God, won, and then God blessed him. as i read this what i realized is that when you are wrestling with someone, it means that you are holding on to them. the man said, "let me go" and Jacob said, "i will NOT let you go unless you bless me." v.26 he refused to let God go. he refused to give up. Jacob continued this wrestling match all night just to be blessed. as long as we are wrestling we are part of the story, the struggle, we are holding on as much as we are being held on to. but when we stop wrestling, when we grow tired or don't think it's worth it anymore, we give up, we let go, we quit, before we receive the blessing. God changed Jacob's name to "Israel" meaning the one who struggles with God and overcomes. Jacob walked away limping and bruised from the fight, but he saw it through. Jacob renamed the place this happened Peniel (which means "face of God"). he said, "i have seen God face to face, and i have been delivered." he is limping from the fight, he is battered and bruised, but he is alive, and not just alive but blessed. and because he wrestled with God, he met Him, he came close to Him, he saw God face to face, and he walked away blessed by God himself. God did not say, "Jacob, why did you wrestle with me?" he said "your name will be changed from Jacob (which sounds like the Hebrew word for 'deceiver') to Israel, which means 'God fights.'" this new name was a symbol of how God changed his life. Jacob's character and life changed with his name. Jacob went from liar and deceiver to the one who struggled with God and men and overcame.
keep wrestling. keep fighting. keep seeking. you will see God's face. you will be blessed.
i was reading Genesis and came to a part in the story of Jacob that i didn't understand. Jacob was going to meet his brother Essau who he had lied to and deceived and hadn't seen in 20 years. he's planning out how to meet his brother that he is afraid will kill him, then all of a sudden the story seems to detour. it says that night, Jacob is all alone and a man comes and wrestles with him all night until the morning dawn breaks. the man realizes he won't win so he wrenches Jacob's hip out of socket. then the man begs Jacob to let him go because the dawn is breaking. Jacob says no and holds onto the man. he says, "i will not let you go unless you bless me." the man says, "your name will no longer be Jacob, from now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won." then the man blesses Jacob. so Jacob names this place Peniel (which means 'face of God') because he says, "i have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared. the sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip."
WHAT??
now i know i just broke off a section of the story and it may not make complete sense without the before and after, but even after reading the story's entirety, this part seems to come from no where. so i'm sitting here reading and trying to understand who this "guy" is, where he comes from, what the deal is, why he showed up, they wrestled, then morning comes, the guy blesses Jacob, leaves, and Jacob goes on about his plans, just limping now from the wrestling match during the night. i'm confused. what am i not understanding about this culture, about blessings, about this story that it makes no sense to me? so i start trying to figure it out. i start reading explanations of the scripture to get some background and hopefully gain understanding. but rather than gaining some great insight into this part of scripture, i start thinking about what actually happened here. the fact that i didn't understand the story's placement has nothing to do with it. it's just an account of what happened. how often does my life seem to take detours i don't understand right in the middle of what i'm doing? the point is the story itself.
Genesis 32:24-31
the man Jacob wrestled with was God. so he wrestled with God, won, and then God blessed him. what?! don't we usually view wrestling with God as a negative thing? and even though i don't entirely view it like that anymore, i still don't view it as a positive thing that God will bless me for. but it says that Jacob wrestled with God, won, and then God blessed him. as i read this what i realized is that when you are wrestling with someone, it means that you are holding on to them. the man said, "let me go" and Jacob said, "i will NOT let you go unless you bless me." v.26 he refused to let God go. he refused to give up. Jacob continued this wrestling match all night just to be blessed. as long as we are wrestling we are part of the story, the struggle, we are holding on as much as we are being held on to. but when we stop wrestling, when we grow tired or don't think it's worth it anymore, we give up, we let go, we quit, before we receive the blessing. God changed Jacob's name to "Israel" meaning the one who struggles with God and overcomes. Jacob walked away limping and bruised from the fight, but he saw it through. Jacob renamed the place this happened Peniel (which means "face of God"). he said, "i have seen God face to face, and i have been delivered." he is limping from the fight, he is battered and bruised, but he is alive, and not just alive but blessed. and because he wrestled with God, he met Him, he came close to Him, he saw God face to face, and he walked away blessed by God himself. God did not say, "Jacob, why did you wrestle with me?" he said "your name will be changed from Jacob (which sounds like the Hebrew word for 'deceiver') to Israel, which means 'God fights.'" this new name was a symbol of how God changed his life. Jacob's character and life changed with his name. Jacob went from liar and deceiver to the one who struggled with God and men and overcame.
keep wrestling. keep fighting. keep seeking. you will see God's face. you will be blessed.
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