I Am.

It's been a weird season for me. A strange three years of taking everything that I once knew and stepping out and replacing it all. Honestly, in the last three years, I've felt totally lost. Things that once felt so familiar, I am not a part of anymore. I was no longer a part of the community that I worked with for years, I wasn't a part of the city that I belonged to because I no longer lived in one place, and I wasn't a part of the group of friends that I lived with because we all went separate ways. It is hard to find your place again. And I think when we feel afraid or alone, it's one of the most vulnerable, dangerous and important times in our lives. It's in these moments that we make decisions that will take our loneliness and fears away. We busy ourselves, we look for a new relationship, or we reach out to someone or something that will help dull our pain. However I've also found that in these vulnerable moments, what we choose to latch onto, often has a tendency to stick with us for a lifetime.

So in this time today, I chose to sit silently with my fears and with Jesus. I decided that rather than reaching out to anything that in time will only disappoint, I would reach inward, and latch onto Him. Thanks to some timely advice, I decided to look up what scripture says about me in Christ. And as I sat here feeling alone, I started to write down and fill two pages with the words that scripture says about my value in Christ. As I wrote I realized that my loneliness was turning to value. It was crazy. I truly went from not feeling connected and alone, to feeling empowered in Him.

In everything that I feel like I am not: Christ says that I am... in Him. In every area that I am not enough; He is.

So what did my list look like?
It looked something like this...

I am alive with Christ
I am complete in Him
I am healed by His stripes
I am greatly loved
I am strengthened
I am an overcomer
I am more than a conquerer
I am God's workmanship
I am forgiven
I am redeemed
I am His...

It took a quick google search in my time of need to turn my fear into value. I'm not enough. I never will be. But I don't want to waste my life trying to fill the holes when what I really need is Him. Want to read it for yourself, check out the list here. The best versions of ourselves are waiting. I'm tired of settling for anything less.


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