tonight was one of those nights. one of those nights where you are so lost within your thoughts that you are present only in spirit because your heart and your mind are elsewhere. and as i pulled into the gas station the last thing i really wanted to do was talk to anyone. i wanted to pump gas and then disappear back into the defeating thoughts i was dwelling on. instead however, in true El Paso fashion, as i looked across the parking lot while walking back to my truck, i saw a lady carrying a cafeteria tray with whatever she was selling and visiting each car. as she saw me coming and headed towards me, she unknowingly won the race we were having back to my door as she slid in front of me before i could get in. and as i stood there at 9pm overwhelmed by my own thoughts, excited to retreat back into the concert of depressing songs in my truck, i listened instead to Judy McFarland tell me her story. she told me about her husband leaving her and her 4 kids and why she was walking around the Chevron with a cafeteria tray selling marbles glued together to create animal figurines. and when she asked me to pick one out and i looked down to see which one i should buy, i just stopped and laughed to myself. amidst the dallas cowboy football themed mice and assortment of hot glue and pipe cleaner animals, was a little mouse holding a message that i couldn't seem to find on my own. standing there with Judy at the gas station tonight in the midst of feelings i couldn't seem to shake, hope walked right up to me.
my friend says that perspective and i have an interesting relationship. i can't get away with sulking within myself for long before it comes up and slaps me in the face. tonight perspective came in the form of a woman selling marbles glued together and holding a felt heart and sharpie message i needed to see. ahhh, God's got a sense of humor. and El Paso only makes the possibilities that much more endless. i'm in awe of how God met me right where i was and how our lives are all intertwined for reasons bigger than we'll ever know. thanks Judy for giving me hope to write about tonight rather than the hopelessness that was on my heart. may you and your family be blessed...
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