transparent balloons
i'm proud of my friends, and the lives that they are choosing to live. they inspire me. my friend David wrote this...
"i sometimes feel inadequate. ok...i often feel inadequate. that is my struggle. i feel like i have this beautiful family of mine to provide for and lead and love on...and i have this calling on my life to serve the one true, living God and i often feel like i am the wrong man for the job. im not depressed, quitting or running away from my family. a friend of mine recently wrote about wearing everything that we are out front for the whole world to see. she spoke of her struggles and the need for help getting over those struggles. she used balloons as her way of floating her prayers into Heaven. she used a black one in place of the "mess" in her life and a white one to show the pure love that God has for us. it made me start thinking. we all have our battles. we all have that "something" that we struggle with. why should any of us have to face that alone? so here i am...because of my friend, letting you all know that i have failures too. i just finished cutting my hair. i was starring myself down in the mirror, looking for any spots that i missed and the word "perfect" came to my lips. we all know that it was not about my looks! so i stood in wonder of where this thought came from. i stood there for about 20 minutes. God knows my heart best. He knows where i excel and where i fall time and time again. He knows when i wonder if i've been a good father or if i've loved on my wife enough. He knows when i fear that i am chasing my dreams and not His. He knows how i struggle with the faith that He will provide everything we need for the ministry we are in. He knows me best. tonight, He caught my attention and let me know that everything is perfect. i am not perfect. but His plans are. He has given me the family that i have and placed me in the exact spot that He needs me to be. that is my validity. He in me, He in my family, He in the ministry that we are in is what is perfect. i don't want to be fake. i don't want anyone to believe that i think myself better than another. i want to be honest and true. i want you to know me. i want you to know my struggles. will you pray for me about this? i want the reality of my heart to become the transparency of my life. please don't be confused by this. im not sharing this for sympathy or an extra hug next time we meet. im telling you this because we are friends and friends should actually care. i want you to know more about me. i want you to know things i love to do and things i hate to do. i want to become more real. i want to live this life with you wide open for Christ, holding nothing back and i can't do that if you don't know who i am. can we start a new meaning to friendship together? can we start a new meaning to caring?
- im david godzisz. have we met?"
"i sometimes feel inadequate. ok...i often feel inadequate. that is my struggle. i feel like i have this beautiful family of mine to provide for and lead and love on...and i have this calling on my life to serve the one true, living God and i often feel like i am the wrong man for the job. im not depressed, quitting or running away from my family. a friend of mine recently wrote about wearing everything that we are out front for the whole world to see. she spoke of her struggles and the need for help getting over those struggles. she used balloons as her way of floating her prayers into Heaven. she used a black one in place of the "mess" in her life and a white one to show the pure love that God has for us. it made me start thinking. we all have our battles. we all have that "something" that we struggle with. why should any of us have to face that alone? so here i am...because of my friend, letting you all know that i have failures too. i just finished cutting my hair. i was starring myself down in the mirror, looking for any spots that i missed and the word "perfect" came to my lips. we all know that it was not about my looks! so i stood in wonder of where this thought came from. i stood there for about 20 minutes. God knows my heart best. He knows where i excel and where i fall time and time again. He knows when i wonder if i've been a good father or if i've loved on my wife enough. He knows when i fear that i am chasing my dreams and not His. He knows how i struggle with the faith that He will provide everything we need for the ministry we are in. He knows me best. tonight, He caught my attention and let me know that everything is perfect. i am not perfect. but His plans are. He has given me the family that i have and placed me in the exact spot that He needs me to be. that is my validity. He in me, He in my family, He in the ministry that we are in is what is perfect. i don't want to be fake. i don't want anyone to believe that i think myself better than another. i want to be honest and true. i want you to know me. i want you to know my struggles. will you pray for me about this? i want the reality of my heart to become the transparency of my life. please don't be confused by this. im not sharing this for sympathy or an extra hug next time we meet. im telling you this because we are friends and friends should actually care. i want you to know more about me. i want you to know things i love to do and things i hate to do. i want to become more real. i want to live this life with you wide open for Christ, holding nothing back and i can't do that if you don't know who i am. can we start a new meaning to friendship together? can we start a new meaning to caring?
- im david godzisz. have we met?"
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